foreign language: harry potter et les interprétations erronées

i'm reading the first harry potter book for the first time... in french! i'm proficient in french, but have a ways to go before i'll be fluent so i'm fully aware i'm missing all kinds of details. i'm going to translate & illustrate my interpretations (and inevitable misinterpretations) here for you. so enjoy!!


mr. dursley got ready for work and took off in his car and noticed this cat reading a sign...and he was all like, "that's weird...cats don't read..." and then he saw this fancy man in town and he reflected for a moment on how he doesn't care for the flamboyant funky fresh youths and their emerald green capes. later, he stopped and got a donut and overheard some people talking about harry potter and he was totally in denial, like, "pssh... no way they're talking about the harry potter i know...for all i know that kid's name is harvey or something."